Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
