well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
