Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
