He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
