i already hear my dad disowning me
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
