yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
false alarm. still invincible.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
