She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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