hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
my being single is dangerous.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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