You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
