i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you win again, gameday.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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