she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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