This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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