Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Bring me that man meat
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
