also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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