you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
