some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
