it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
