I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We're too hungover to prance.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
