It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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