Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
