I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
