i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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