so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
