Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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