My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
