Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
