Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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