You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
