im drinking this country out of the recession.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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