these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
