Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
