She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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