as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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