My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
