Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
