how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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