she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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