Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
