better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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