Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
