I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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