Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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