Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
