I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
