He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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