i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
