Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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