do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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