toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm at about main and main street
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
