I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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